Funny & Morale
Shop funny & morale from Stateside Quartermaster.
On duty · Stateside Quartermaster shopping assistant
Tell me what you need — I’ll search the live catalog, check prices and stock, and add items to your cart right here. Add a branch, size, camo, brand, or budget (like “Army OCP boonie under $40”) and I’ll narrow it down. Need something made with your unit’s name or logo? I’ll get you to the Custom Unit Gear team.
I use live store listings. Always confirm fit, compatibility, ratings, and certifications on the product page before ordering.
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Shop funny & morale from Stateside Quartermaster.
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State Guard Uniform Builder
One complete head-to-toe button set. Checklist-required components stay visible even when no matching product is currently stocked.
State Guard authorization: Use only garments, colors, insignia, devices, and configurations authorized by your State Guard, State Defense Force, or Naval Militia.
Use this checklist to complete the authorized State Guard physical training uniform. Organization policy controls colors, logos, reflective items, seasonal layers, and footwear.
Stateside Quartermaster
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Don't Fuck It Up Funny Morale Patch | Made in USA | VELCRO® Brand Hook Backing
Don't Happy, Be Worry Funny Morale Patch | Made in USA | VELCRO® Brand Hook Backing
Don't Kink Shame Me Funny Morale Patch | Made in USA | VELCRO® Brand Hook Backing
Don't Spy On Me, Anti-Flock Cameras Funny Morale Patch, 2x3" | Made in USA | VELCRO® Brand Hook Backing
Don't Taze Me... I'll Cum - 2.75 Inch - PVC Patch
Don't Touch My Stuff Funny Morale Patch, 2x3" | Made in USA | VELCRO® Brand Hook Backing
Don't Trust An Actor Morale Patch
Donkey Dick Fueler - That funny name for the Nozzle for a Military Fuel Can - PVC Patch
Don’t Worry I Did This On A Mannequin Once Funny Morale Patch, 2.25x4" | Made in USA | VELCRO® Brand Hook Backing
Duck You goofy animated middle finger 3.5 inch fully embroidered patch with hook backing
Dumpster Fire Response Team Funny Morale Patch | Made in USA | VELCRO® Brand Hook Backing
Embrace Honesty with Our 'No Nut November' Patch - 3 Inch Embroidered Badge of Courage
Embrace the Existential Dread Funny Morale Patch | Made in USA | VELCRO® Brand Hook Backing
Emotional Support Group 2.0 - 3 Inch Round Embroidered Patch with Hook Fastener - Made in America
EMS Patch (3” x 10”) Hook and Loop
ENG Can I Get A Hoyaa? Double pack Morale Patches
Explicit Content Warning Funny Morale Patch | Made in USA | VELCRO® Brand Hook Backing
F.I.S.H. Fuck It, Shit Happens Funny Morale Patch, 2x3" | Made in USA | VELCRO® Brand Hook Backing
Feral & Wild Funny Morale Patch, 2x3" | Made in USA | VELCRO® Brand Hook Backing
Feral Cougar Funny Morale Patch, 2x3" | Made in USA | VELCRO® Brand Hook Backing
Feral Wife Funny Morale Patch, 2x3" | Made in USA | VELCRO® Brand Hook Backing
FIRE-EMS Patch (3” x 10”) Hook and Loop
For Whom The Bell Tolls - Laser Cut Printed Patch - #4 in the Metal up your Ass Collection
Freak In The Sheets Funny CPA Morale Patch, 2x3" | Made in USA | VELCRO® Brand Hook Backing
Freak In The Sheets Funny Morale Patch | Made in USA | VELCRO® Brand Hook Backing
French Toast Funny Morale Patch 2.8"x3" Hook & Loop | Made in USA
Fuck It My Final Thought Before Making Most Decisions - 2x3 Patch
Fuck It, We'll Do It Live Funny Morale Patch, 2x3" | Made in USA | VELCRO® Brand Hook Backing
Fuck Off Fully Embroidered Cut to shape Patch - 3" Patch
Fuzzy Nod Squatch Embroidered Patch - 4 inch - Made in the USA
Game Over Funny Morale Patch | Made in USA | VELCRO® Brand Hook Backing
Get In Loser, We're Getting Tacos Funny Morale Patch | Made in USA | VELCRO® Brand Hook Backing
Give 'Em The Razzle Dazzle Funny Morale Patch | Made in USA | VELCRO® Brand Hook Backing
Glowsticks Morale Patch - Green - Glow in the Dark - 100% Made in the USA
Go Away Funny Morale Patch | Made in USA | VELCRO® Brand Hook Backing
Go F*ck Yourself Funny Morale Patch, 2x3" | Made in USA | VELCRO® Brand Hook Backing
Good Luck, Have Fun, Don't Die Funny Morale Patch, 2x3" | Made in USA | VELCRO® Brand Hook Backing
Goon Squad Patch ( 3” x 8”) Raised Embroidered Hook and Loop
Gosh Darnit All To Heck, Polite Swearing Funny Morale Patch, 2x3" | Made in USA | VELCRO® Brand Hook Backing
Got Any Blanton's Funny Morale Patch, 2x3" | Made in USA | VELCRO® Brand Hook Backing
Gotcha Circle Game Fingers PVC Patch - If you look you get hit!
Guess Who Made Waffles, Gir, Funny Morale Patch, 2x3" | Made in USA | VELCRO® Brand Hook Backing
Hang In There It Gets Worse Funny Medical Morale Patch, 2x3" | Made in USA | VELCRO® Brand Hook Backing
Hard Life Lessons Funny Morale Patch, 2x3" | Made in USA | VELCRO® Brand Hook Backing
Harvester Of Sorrow - Printed Vinyl Patch - VIP MEMBERS ONLY
Here For The Income, Not The Outcome Funny Morale Patch, 2x3" | Made in USA | VELCRO® Brand Hook Backing
Hey Laser Lips, Johnny 5 Retro Funny Morale Patch, 2x3" | Made in USA | VELCRO® Brand Hook Backing
Hot Dogs, Cold Beer and Bad Decisions Funny Morale Patch | Made in USA | VELCRO® Brand Hook Backing
I Am Not Wife Material Funny Morale Patch | Made in USA | VELCRO® Brand Hook Backing
I Can't Fix Stupid Funny Morale Patch | Made in USA | VELCRO® Brand Hook Backing
I Dig Thicc Funny Morale Patch | Made in USA | VELCRO® Brand Hook Backing
I Don't Know What I'm Doing Funny Morale Patch, 2x3" | Made in USA | VELCRO® Brand Hook Backing
I Don't Make Threats, That Ruins The Surprise Funny Morale Patch, 2x3" | Made in USA | VELCRO® Brand Hook Backing
I Got My Hantavirus Vaccine At Red Lobster Funny Morale Patch, 2x3" | Made in USA | VELCRO® Brand Hook Backing
I Got Narcanned At Buc-ee's Funny Morale Patch, 2x3" | Made in USA | VELCRO® Brand Hook Backing
I Identify As The Problem Funny Morale Patch, 2x3" | Made in USA | VELCRO® Brand Hook Backing
I Just Look Illegal Funny Morale Patch, 2x3" | Made in USA | VELCRO® Brand Hook Backing
I Love Goth Girls Funny Morale Patch | Made in USA | VELCRO® Brand Hook Backing
I Love Hot Moms MILFS Funny Morale Patch, 2x3" | Made in USA | VELCRO® Brand Hook Backing
I May Be Wrong But I Doubt It Funny Morale Patch, 2x3" | Made in USA | VELCRO® Brand Hook Backing
I Rented This Hooker Funny Morale Patch, 2x3" | Made in USA | VELCRO® Brand Hook Backing
I Say Mean, Hurtful, Accurate Things Funny Morale Patch, 2x3" | Made in USA | VELCRO® Brand Hook Backing
I Shaved My Flaps For This Funny Morale Patch | Made in USA | VELCRO® Brand Hook Backing
I Void Warranties Funny Morale Patch, 2x3" | Made in USA | VELCRO® Brand Hook Backing
I Will Not Be The Bigger Person Today Funny Morale Patch | Made in USA | VELCRO® Brand Hook Backing
I'm A Good Person, Not A Nice One Funny Morale Patch, 2x3" | Made in USA | VELCRO® Brand Hook Backing
I'm Bisexual - I've Had Sex Twice Funny Morale Patch, 2x3" | Made in USA | VELCRO® Brand Hook Backing
I'm Here to Kick Ass and Chew Gum - Version 2.0 Patch
I'm Just A Figment Of Your Imagination Funny Morale Patch, 2x3" | Made in USA | VELCRO® Brand Hook Backing
I'm Just A Lovable Psychopath Funny Morale Patch | Made in USA | VELCRO® Brand Hook Backing
I'm Not Gay But $20 is $20 - 3.25" Laser Cut Patch
I'm Not Much to Look At But I Fuck Like The Government - 2x3 Patch
I'm Not Much to Look At But I Fuck Like The Government - V.2.0 - 2x3 Patch
I'm Your Huckleberry - 2x3 Patch
If At First You Don't Succeed, Try Doing It The Way I Told You To - 2x3.5 Patch
If Not Us Then Who Morale Patch, 2x3" | Made in USA | VELCRO® Brand Hook Backing
If You Can Read This You Are Too Close Funny Morale Patch, 2x3" | Made in USA | VELCRO® Brand Hook Backing
If Your Ass Hair Can Survive Funny Morale Patch | Made in USA | VELCRO® Brand Hook Backing